I’ve worked a lot of crappy jobs. I’m starting to think maybe they’re all crappy. I’ve been yelled at, debased, stalked, slapped, and covered in food, and that was all in the same day. So I’m trying to be optimistic about this new job, but it’s hard to get too excited. I don’t want to be disappointed again. One thing that seems good about it so far is that the boss seems to really like me. His name is Klaus, or something equally hilarious. And when I say he likes me, I mean he hired me without an interview, after meeting with me for five seconds. He seems pretty convinced that I have the same name as an actor, but I’m pretty sure he’s thinking of Bradley Cooper, and not Bryan.

Ah, “Beach Day.” My overbearing boss claimed that I just wasn’t “beachy” enough… Even with that hippo floaty thing.

The one thing that seems really interesting is that this job is apparently the new subject of a documentary, so there will be camera crews following us around for a while. So if I suck, everyone will know. And if the job sucks, everyone will know. I am a little nervous about being on camera, in case there’s anybody out there who might be looking for me, but then I don’t really know anybody who watches documentaries.

I stood at the corner of Trade and Tryon for 8 solid hours dressed as a garbanzo bean in the heat of the summer as a walking advertisement for my last company; The Great Garbanzo Bakery.

Here’s to hoping that the job is great and I’m great at it and everything works out in the end. It can’t possibly be any worse than my last six jobs.

Yes, while working as a valet I actually got my head stuck in this lawn “sculpture.” Sigh.

-Bryan